5 reasons why I’m a virgin at age 23

February 25, 2014 

I am 23 and I have never had sex. I plan on waiting until I’m married. About 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex. That is 1 in 30 people. To write about the reasons why I have remained abstinent from sex is something I hope touches someone in a positive way. It is only by the grace of God that I am still waiting. Waiting to have sex isn’t old fashioned or unrealistic to me because waiting to have sex is truth from God and His word is forever, not old fashioned. Before you continue reading, pause your current music and listen to Mount Zion by Jonathan Helser; I wrote to this masterpiece tonight. Here go the top five reasons why I am personally waiting.

I want to express my love to Jesus Christ and that I believe in His word.

I have always thought of my purity as a way to tell God that I take His word rather seriously. If I were to speak it aloud it would be something like this, “Hey, God. I know how much you love me and this is how much I love you even though it’s not an ounce back of how much you love me. It’s just one way to show that I honor, love, and believe in your word. I know you do this for me.” He has my best interest at heart and He does for your heart too. “For the word of the LORD holds true, and we can trust everything he does” (Psalm 33:4).

I want to be an example for others the best way I can.

Honestly, I just want to live my life as an example for others according to God’s word. I’m not good at many things nor am I a saint, but sex and marriage mean a lot to me. Patience is obviously a virtue in waiting for marriage to have sex, but it is very possible. In your relationship you certainly do not need to prove your love to each other by having sex. Try not to put yourself in tempting situations. It’s as simple as that. My purity isn’t just that I’ve never done the deed (yes, I just said that), but it’s the expression of my hope in God’s word and how He says to be a light for others. Satan is attacking multitudes of millions of people of my generation with this temptation and in turn hurting their heart and souls. God does this for us. Trust in Him that He knows what He is talking about when it comes to this. He’s not down on sex. I mean, He did create sex after all. He’s just not for all the hurting and consequences that come after doing it. It’s for you really. There are excessively many people thinking that waiting to have sex is unrealistic or just not with the modern times. As a Christian, God is so real and so His word is realistic and perfectly applicable to my life today. His word is forever and we should forever be examples of His word; this is how we continue to grow as a body of Christ. “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:14-16).

I desire to be an example for my future children.

There is a good chance if I wait so will my children by raising them to value sex. I can tell my children at the proper age how “mama, mom, mother” didn’t suffer from the emotional scars and let downs that pre-marital sex offers among so many other things. In addition, perhaps they will take my words more seriously as a mother as I have the actions to back them up. Or maybe they won’t, but here’s to trying. Oh motherhood how I look forward to what you bring. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

It’s a strong way to show my future husband that those vows we’ll be saying to each other will hold true for me.

What is a way that I can show and tell my future husband that I will honor our marriage vows and love him all the days of my life? What is a way (surely not the only way but a pretty main one) that he can trust me in our marriage? Trust is so vital in relationships and there is an abundant amount of ways to show mistrust today. I want him to know that growing up into who I am today, most days I knew my worth in Christ alone and tried to respect him way ahead of time and before I even knew him. My purity is something I have saved for one man not because God says too, but because of the reasons behind it. There are chains that can be so hard to break once you bond sexually with someone. It’s also a proven psychological thing that has a lot to do with a chemical called dopamine, hormones called oxytocin and vasopressin, and add some some neuro circuits and neurochemicals in the mix too. It goes beyond just sex though. I will never love him more than God, but I can show my love and faithfulness in our marriage to him by waiting and in this hope that he understands my sincere loyalty to him as his wife and as a woman of Christ. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:11-12).

I want to glorify Jesus Christ.

I live to glorify Him. I’m sure it would be lovely to marry one day but if I didn’t? I’m not really out anything because I have God, and that’s actually better than a spouse! We all know that though. I think we can give glory to God when people ask us how in the world we waited for marriage to have sex. That’s where we can point to Jesus Christ and His grace. For me, to be married to Christ is my one and only true deepest joy in this life. I’m exquisitely honored to be His bride. I cannot imagine how much love He has for us. It’s unimaginable but believable and real– so real. “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

So everyone is having sex. Okay minus the 1 in 30. Nevertheless, do I want to be everyone? Do you want to fit the societal status quo that typically leads to an unsatisfactory relationship or follow the higher road that leads to ultimate satisfaction from God? Together let’s stand for God’s holy word, be different, and encourage others to follow God’s straight and narrow path. Let’s choose God, purity, and be a light together. I’m a 23 year old woman who has kept my purity by God’s unfailing love and grace and I’m not ashamed about it.

“To us, waiting is wasting. To God, waiting is working.” – Louie Giglio

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95 thoughts on “5 reasons why I’m a virgin at age 23

  1. cassiegwriter

    Reblogged this on Cassie G. and commented:
    Inspiring post.

    I read this post and it touched my heart, it gave me an answer too as to why I am a virgin at this age and why I will get married one.

    It also got me thinking that someone out there could be thinking that but they have already given that away and they can’t go back. The truth though is that with the exception of being able to give your husband that ‘gift’ or whatever you would want to call it, everything else in that list can be used by anyone, including those who have gone down that path before but have turned back from it.

    I believe the Lord can restore that glory to whoever has made choices before that they are not proud of now. The past is forgotten and your sins and lawless deeds He remembers no more. This is just one of those situation as well where if you let Him, He can take that pain away or maybe that guilt associated with it and make you anew in His eyes and yours too. The way I see it, that’s all that counts.
    Thank God that He does promises that remembers no more because we all need that GRACE in one way or another…no one is perfect…well, at least I know I am far from perfect but I am I AM’s and that’s all that counts. The rest He will take of as He takes care of me and guides me through life and through His plans for me.

    I hope you find this as inspiring as I did. Now I have more to say than just to say being a virgin started out as a challenge to myself when I was 12 and now I do it because He wants me to.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. cassiegwriter

    Wow…truly amazing…if someone had asked for my reason yesterday I would just have answered that because I want to follow Christ and as branch this is what He wants of me so this is what I will do (though if I am to be honest at first getting to 21 without dating and as a virgin was just a challenge for myself since I was 12 because my pastor at the time had spoken about his own son being a virgin at that age. Thank you Pastor Tommy because otherwise I do not know what would have happened). Thanks for this though because it’s really encouraging and definitely puts into words what I could not (being 24 now it’s no longer about the challenge but about Him, yet I just didn’t have the words for it)…thank you…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. LydiaA1614

    Savannah, your story, and your strength and courage in sharing it are a true testament to God. I was saving myself for marriage as well, until a couple of “friends” from school (a Christian school at that) took that choice away from me. On my grad night, they set me up to be raped by my date (also arranged by them). You are a beautiful example for all young people, and I know that the Lord has the right person and the right time already set aside for you. Thank you for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Savannah Hardcastle

      Lydia, from the deepest part of my heart– I am sorry that happened to you. Words don’t mean much, so I wish I could give you a (hug) actually for sharing that. I’m not perfect, and I know my future husband won’t be either . . .but that’s where grace comes in right? I’ve learned that more and more recently after my last relationship. Looking forward to your blog. :)
      Much love and a sincere (hug) to you.
      -Sav

      Liked by 1 person

  4. jasminericentea

    Hi, thanks for following my blog! I really like yours and you seem like a beautiful human being. I’m 23 and also strongly believe that people should wait for someone they care about so that it’s meaningful. Thanks for sharing :)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. wdednh

    May God bless you and keep you! The Lord will bring you(The Rib) to the Body He took you from! So you be with your soulmate!
    Genesis
    Chapter 2
    21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

    22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

    23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

    24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
    Anthony

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mechristandchronicdisease

    Loved your blog and your decision to wait until you married. I became a christian much later in life and I wish I could go back and make the same decision you did. It would cure so much heart ache and baggage that I dragged into my relationship when I did make the decision to marry. I love my husband so much and wish with all my heart he was my first but I can’t go back and change the clock I can only go forward with God’s grace and forgiveness. I love that you are being an example to other young adults that God’s way is the best way. may God bless you on your journey.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Savannah Hardcastle

      Hi there….wow thank you so much for that.
      I appreciate it.
      Gods grace is enough and I’m so happy you’re in a loving and adoring relationship w/your husband. I can’t wait for that! Well I am (as I’m not married yet) but all in Gods timing.
      Many blessings to you and your week and weekend. I hope you know Jesus loves you right where you’re at! I’m learning that more and more.

      -sav :)

      Like

    • James Lomax

      Great piece. This is definitely one of the many things most women take for granted. I always admired that about you and your family. God holds that near and dear to His heart, and I know he is looking down on you and your family with a huge smile on His face. May God continue to bless you and use your words to be a light for others.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Jonathan

    Thank you for being so bold as to write about this and put it on the internet, as well as keeping Yahweh’s command. It is such a beautiful thing to see and hear about, especially from someone of our generation. It sadly is becoming rarer as each day passes in this world, that someone actually upholds his commands. I pray Yahweh keeps you in his grasp forever and continues to bless your life greatly for your love of him.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. johnhughmorgan3

    Savannah – Thank you for upholding Christian standards in the world of singles and dating. And be assured that there are others who are waiting, some of them 2-3 times your age. Ageism and the separation of generations is one thing that is killing churches today. John-53

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Kelly Grace

    Hi Savannah,
    As a mother with sons & daughters I support your choice of purity. What most people don’t recognize is that it’s not rooted in prudishness, but in a desire to please God. Faith always pleases Him and your choice takes real faith in our culture.
    Do you know about If: Gathering? Check it out at http://ifgathering.com. I found it through Ann Voskamp’s blog: A Holy Experience and I believe you’d be blessed. They are also looking for Interns. I think they are located in Austin TX.
    BTW I love your blog theme.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Savannah Hardcastle

      Hi Kelly, thank you very much. I have heard of If Gathering. I fully believe in pleasing God–especially in the aspect of purity. I love Him so very much, and this is a way of showing that. Thanks for reading :)

      Like

  10. 2crazylittleboys

    Good for you! Is it weird that I don’t know you, but I am proud of you? To be young and not only hold your convictions, but to share them with the world is an amazing thing that too few people are doing today. Trust me in saying that your future husband will love you more for this. (and motherhood is amazing, but also worth the wait just like sex)

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Sue Likkel

    Savannah…so great to discover you. Bless you for this post. Love it and support it. There is an organization called Boyfriend Bears which is encouraging young girls to live a life of purity. Can I introduce you to them?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. jamieaaron03

    I really don’t have much to say about the topic, but I do have a close friend that was also waiting until marriage, and she felt very alone because she hadn’t met anyone with her same dedication to it. I used to tell her a lot of people wait and she shouldn’t feel so alone. I just hate to see people feel alone, doubt their faith, or compare it to other…

    Like

    • Savannah Hardcastle

      Yes, being alone doesn’t necessarily mean one has to feel lonely. That’s why I stress the fact that being truly enveloped in God, and knowing your identity in Him alone, is literally enough. Friends, family, and love relationships are like bonus! But if I were to be stripped of all those people, would I still be happy with God alone? I would hope one could say, YES!

      Like

  13. Ie

    Wow! Amazing!

    I’m ie from Indonesia
    I’m 37, single, and I’ve never had sex too

    Thanks for your post! Really encouraged me to stand and keep purity.
    let we live to glorify Jesus Christ

    *sorry for the bad grammar

    Liked by 1 person

    • Savannah Hardcastle

      Hi Le. WOW. Praise be to God for trusting in the Lord. We live to Glorify Him, and in this, keeping our purity as He says is by His grace but a sign of our devotion to the Lord, for we are vessels for Him and not for ourselves. Lets be the light and help people stop suffering from diseases, and heart breaks and chains that are so hard to break!
      -Sav

      Like

  14. TheLadyJournal

    Reblogged this on G R A C E and commented:
    My twin sister not only speaks for herself, but for myself as well as other young women remaining abstinent, not only for our future husbands, but for the glorification of God in our very lives. Please take a read, and if you feel it in your heart to share, please do so to spread the message along!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. David Ashby

    So proud of you Savannah. I also waited for my sweet wife. I’m very glad I did, but it was with the grace of God that I was able to.

    Let me add one more reason for waiting… I believe that God’s unborn children should have the right to being raised in a family with 2 parents that love them.

    Like

  16. osarobohenry

    I really thank God for giving you the grace to remain so because it is by His grace, it is not by power. Thank you so much for stopping by at my blog and for liking one of my posts. May the the lord richly bless you more abundantly in the name of Jesus Christ.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Anna Bachinsky

    This is so beautiful Savannah! You are such an amazing example of a woman whose heart is after God’s alone. It seems rare to find young women in this day and age who put God’s desires over their own when it comes to purity and relationships. Thank you for being a blessing and inspiration to every young girl who struggles with remaining faithful to God’s Word in the midst of so many temptations and lies from the enemy to give parts of their heart and body away to men who are not theirs. Be blessed!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Savannah Hardcastle

      Hi Anna, thank you so much.
      Yes, it is becoming an epidemic! I hope this is encouragement not just for ladies but also for men of this world to stand up and be warriors for Christ!
      Thank you for the read.
      All my best,
      Sav

      Like

  18. Adam Drake

    Brilliant! On the days when I get discouraged and feel like I might have waited in vain because it seems like there is no one left who still believes God’s word enough to actually live it, I can remind myself of you. And if there is one, there are surely more. God bless.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. mommalisaof2

    What a wonderful post! Thank you so much for writing this. I have tried to tell the young people in my life that God doesn’t tell us to wait for marriage to keep us from having fun…He tells us to wait because He knows the heartache that comes along with not waiting. Looking forward to reading more from you. <3

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Equipping The Saints

    My Sister, I am very proud of you for the stand that you have taken on a Godly value. I waited also. If I were to see any of the girls that I dated, and if they were to be with their husbands, there would be no embarrassment among us. One of the things that I used to tell my daughters while they were growing up is this. “Your husband is not your husband until your husband is your husband.” Consider how many marriages have been called off very close to their proposed wedding dates. No man has a right to the things of marriage with a woman until that man is married to that special woman. During a pastors’ meeting, one of the subjects of conversation dealt with pre-marital sex, and the long lasting mental effects. One man, who had been sexually active before he was married, stated that the thoughts of his pre-married life were always with him. He said that he never was able to go to bed, “with only his wife;” his prior experiences were always with him. James and Shirley Dobson waited for marriage to be intimate with each other. James has talked many times about the fact that he has no memories that he has to battle, in that regard. God will forgive anyone of pre-marital sex, but the thoughts will linger. Please continue your ministry of purity. God is with you. Pastor/Equipping The Saints, Philippians 3:10, “That I might know Him”

    Liked by 1 person

  21. rolerrol

    Hi Savannah
    Thanks for writing this. In a time where the world is always holding up the picture of sex before marriage we need more people holding up the picture of abstinence and purity. We need more pictures that shout out purity! I like the reasons you brought up as to why you are waiting but there was one that really stood out among the rest. To glorify God!!! We do all we do not for people’s approval but to glorify God. That has helped me so much.
    I have been fighting and fighting to stay pure but I see now that the first and most important reason should be to glorify God…..Thanks for that word!
    God bless….

    Rolain

    Liked by 2 people

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